“The journey is the reward.”Proverb
I received my first Christmas last evening. A book named “The Soulmate Secret” by Arielle Ford. My friend, Karin gave it to me. Last December we aptly named 2018 “the year of the Kar(e+i)ns”. In many ways that held true. We both accomplished a lot. We both laughed a lot. We both learned a lot about who we are, and how to honor that. I feel like 2018 was a “work” year. We do the work in the even years, to reap its rewards in the odd.
As only dear friends can do, her gift made me feel hopeful about what 2019 holds. I approached the book with an open mind and heart. She told me to read Chapter 5 first; entitled “The List” because it would provide me with greater context about Ford’s intentions. I read almost the entire chapter this morning on the train as instructed. In one word the book is about intention: defining it, stating it, and receiving it.
I am all about intentions. Identify it, state it, commit to it, work for it, and if fate has it in the cards it, accept it, revel in it, enjoy it and be grateful for it. I am a big believer in telling the universe what I want. I firmly believe that what I put out in the universe is destined to return. A good reminder of setting my intentions occurred earlier this year when I found my dream box. After years of sitting somewhere from which I would see it regularly, I had set it inside the closet following the divorce. I made the dream box more than 10 years ago. The word “Improv” was glued inside the box. I started my Improv journey in November 2017. Earlier this year, I set out to find a job that fit me. I gave myself 90 days to do it, and I was offered my current role April 15, one day shy of my deadline. I like intentions. They tap into my own stregnths of activation, achievement, connectedness, and strategy.
I have been so focused on what I don’t want, I haven’t created the vision of what I do. Ford writes that few of us take the time to articulate what we do want. It’s no surprise that the universe serves us chocolate when we wanted vanilla. Duh! We never placed the order! The choices I made following my first marriage are evidence of that. I put out to the world what I didn’t want, but not want I really wanted. Ford recommends you can be as general or as specific, though the more specific the narrower the options. For example, one woman only wanted a man with a 32” waist and she found him but he was also a cheapskate and bit his fingernails. For one person, excessive frugality and nail-biting would be deal breakers. And when I thought of it that way, I compared it to a home search. I used to think a home without a fireplace was a deal breaker. Then I bought one and I learned to live without. By the way, a cheapskate would be a dealbreaker for me.
As far as love and men and what happens next, well I didn’t believe in the power of my own discernment and how it can impact my personal life until this morning. Maybe because I wasn’t ready to define it, let alone articulate it? Either way, I have work to do, and as fate would have it, it’s high time I get started. I’m going to work on this all right, from characteristics to career choices to distance and children. I’m going to write it all down, the proceeds of which will surely make a great blog, moreover, it will help me gain clarity, something I’ve been seeking of late.