“You can’t get much done in life if you only work on the days when you feel good.”Jerry West
We all have blah days. These days are hardest on me. As much as I try on days like this, the negative forces are stronger than the positive ones.
Harder is when the negative forces I thought I slew the day before, come back fighting with a vengeance. At this very moment, I’m writing and thinking and thinking and writing and reacting to a force like that. I realized it didn’t ask for permission to ruin my day, it’s just assuming it can. This force must be grounded in some factual assumption. I imagine previous behavior allowed it into my day and it proceeded to trample anything positive. With the confidence of previous wins, its nature is balloon-like, hooked up to a helium tank, expanding with utter disregard for anything else in the atmosphere.
I worked in a flower shop in the 80s and 90s. I learned how to use a helium tank and I filled up hundreds of mylar and latex balloons. Rarely did I overinflate and cause an explosion. Nope, I respected the limitations of the balloon’s material. I respected its place in the world. Sometimes it had meaning alone, and sometimes in a balloon bouquet. Its meaning was lost if it exploded. The balloon’s purpose and joy came from the gesture of the giver, and its buoyancy, its shininess, its shape, its design, and its color. One pop and emotions vomited. Children’s smiles would turn to scowls and laughter to tears.
This has me thinking that I could easily pop any negative balloon no matter how sly or overt creeping or trampling into my day. Again, I didn’t invite it. Though I suspect that some negative thought likely provided an easy entry, I did not provide explicit permission for it to ruin my day.
I suspect the sugar-coated nature of its arrival, was born from its creator’s own negativity. In an effort to relieve herself of it, she just spewed it into the atmosphere, and with the accuracy of a dart landing on the bullseye, it found me. I didn’t welcome the dart yesterday, and I sure as hell didn’t invite it today. So I’m telling that dart that ten minutes ago sucked dry the serenity of my Saturday morning savasana, to piss off. I’m rubber and you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. It’s the weekend, and I need to let that shit go. Namaste.