“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.”Ralph Waldo Emerson
It’s Christmas. Emerson’s quote was spot on today. I started to write at 10 a.m., but I needed to ruminate on that quote.
Last year around this time I was recovering from a hernia repair surgery. It threw my yin and yang off. I couldn’t practice yoga, but it did afford me time to write. The writing brought me the clarity that I needed, walking the dogs helped me, too, Alanon also helpful, but yoga provided the necessary release.
I’m focused on the need for a “routine release” because yesterday, Christmas Eve, I started the day with a lovely practice. I was reminded of how the physical movements require such mental focus, that I must dispel the unnecessary thoughts that threaten my peace of mind. A good practice is both exhilarting and redeeming. Yoga keeps me sane. Letting go of all the thoughts that weigh on me makes me less angry. Ending my practice with “the light in me honors the light in you” reminds me of our origin.
Light: It’s who we are. We are the light of the world. Modeled in the image and likeness of God, a God who is a reflection of us, a God who is light like us, a God who is good like us, a God is who is kind like us, a God who is forgiving like us, a God who is hopeful like us, a God who is imperfect like us. He, she, you, and me – we are that light. And even when that light stings my eyes, even when its smoke and smolder burns my nose and throat, and even when its rays burn my skin, it moves me, motivates me, and connects me with the rest of the world.
My mind rests under the moon, and it dances under the sun. In daylight, I crave the companionship, collaboration, and creativity I find and share with fellow imperfect human beings. I know when I share my light with other’s, joy is in abundance.
As joy, is abundant, anger often appears as equally so. That’s a fallacy. A mirage. Its abundance is only possible by invitation, as I have found out this year. Anger is both intoxicating and suffocating. Its presence can cause quick or slow asphyxiation. Just prior to writing this, I closed the door on it. I wrote someone an end to a decision that caused me great angst. These last few days, I felt like Lady Macbeth sleepwalking through the castle, hallucinating and rubbing her hands together saying “Out, damned spot! out, I say!”. I wasn’t dreaming, I’m living. And I washed the spot out. I chose my peace of mind. I struggled with that decision. Does choosing my own peace make me selfish? I say no, it does not. Anger towards another robs me of future joy and hijacks my mind. I must accept that I can neither help he who doesn’t see he is broken, fix what he does not believe needs repair. I must accept him, and his addiction. That is not selfish.
I can only see my own light, honor that, and protect it. I will accept nothing less. God gave us an awesome gift, with the birth of Christ, and with the birth of each of us. I honor our light. Merry Christmas.