“Follow your instincts. That’s where true wisdom manifests itself.”Oprah Winfrey
An early morning meeting, meant an early morning train, meant no 6 a.m. yoga at Essencia this Friday. The morning crew there is a source of inspiration, and my absence made today no different. Jeannine sent me this quotable from my fellow yogi, “Maybe I’m the best thing he ever did” and asked that I use it as a prompt for my writing today. This is a welcome respite from the other prompts battling away inside my head today, so I accept the challenge.
She picked up a pile of dirt, even before she moved to toss it, its loose pieces fell through the spaces between her fingers. Separated and again together, six feet down it fell, landing with a soft thump on the metal casket.
He used to say she wore her emotions on her sleeve, a remark that always irritated her, but not today. If it were Christmas she’d sing Joy to the World. The incessant weight of his addiction had now departed this Earth. To sleep a night without late-night phone calls to the morgue to see if his corpse showed up, was a heavenly thought.
Joy. This dirt, this hole, this departure was utterly joyful. She felt no pain as she walked away with a smile on her face, the delight in her eyes camouflaged by the extra large black sunglasses.
Everyone had long since left the cemetery. She was startled when she looked up to see a small posse of men in wool coats standing beside a Lincoln Continental.
She mumbled, “Jesus Christ, his body’s not even cold, if they are looking for money …”
The Lincoln’s suicide doors swung open; inside the rear passenger seat sat a woman. Her crisscrossed legs were clad in beige nylons, her unexposed skin was cloaked by a camel-colored wool coat. A billow of smoke poured out of the car, “Tammy,” she heard the woman call out.
It startled her. Hauntingly familiar. It was 20 years since she saw her last, their daughter. A tear came to her eye, Tammy called out, “Jesus, Jackie, I’m sorry I didn’t know to reach you.”
Jackie’s face was frozen. She nodded. One of the men offered his hand, Jackie accepted and climbed out of the car.
“I wish I could tell you that things changed dear, but I’m afraid he was as bad off as he was when you left,” Tammy said.
“You always said he was good for nothing,” Jackie said. “Maybe I’m the best thing he ever did.”